Monday, November 20, 2006

And Now Back to my Regularly-Scheduled Masculinity

Mrs THIT and I had our appointment this past Saturday with the Tamarack Homes design center. Previously, we'd been walked through the cost of upgrading this and upgrading that, but now came the time to actually make decisions and stuff.

Oh was not pretty to see. I got all into it and stuff! It took two and half hours, and Christine admitted later to getting fed up.

Not me! I was just getting warmed up! I used words like "contrast" and "depth" and I believe I even used them properly! I made reference to texture and how the light hitting certain tiles would make them appear different...oh, it was simply heavenly!

When asked by the designer later about what the rest of my day would consist of, I first thought of dabbling in flower arrangements while sampling fine wines. Or perhaps I would work on my cross-stitching.

Then it hit me. I was actually going to a college football game, then to a local pro wrestling show. What the hell was happening to me? I was becoming like those guys on the HGTV shows (not that there's anything wrong with that. Or them. But they're annoying).

So I took the rest of the afternoon to restore my manhood (such as it is). This dude helped:

He was in the main event of the wrestling show I went to. His name is "Original Sinn", though I believe that may be a pseudonym. He's pretty bad-ass, even if his manager is an evil rubber duck.

Now that my mind has been restored to its partial cromagnon state, I do have one request to women everywhere who plan to speak to men about decorative matters anytime in the future.

Use real colours.

Here are some colours that you claim exist: Pearl. Eggshell. Cream.

They don't. There's only one way to describe those pseudo-colours: White. If you're so concerned that that it's "not really white", then say "off-white". Or even "dark white". We'll get it.

The exception to this rule: Football. The Michigan Wolverines do not wear yellow. It's maize. Louisville wears cardinal red specifically and...uhm...well, I think it's cream. But it sounds less girly when it makes reference to football.

Otherwise, for most guys going through that process is hell (and if it isn't, we kind of have to pretend that it is) so please, at least communicate clearly.

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